My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
