Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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