Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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