My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
