I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm bleeding and have questions
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
