I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
false alarm. still invincible.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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