I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
