My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
