Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
