If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
