Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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