I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
