In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
