You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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