just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
