ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
