Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So many bounce houses so little time
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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