? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
