i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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