im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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