its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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