I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
