you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
