Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
