Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
