Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize