O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
