I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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