I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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