Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
