at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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