I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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