drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Terrible idea I love it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
