Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
PANTIES FOUND
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