This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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