My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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