I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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