He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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