i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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