can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
