I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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