Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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