your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
