I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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