I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize