Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize