I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
