So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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