How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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