It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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