just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
