I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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