Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
