i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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