Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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