omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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