I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
