I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
