Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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