dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Randomize
