It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
