I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize