honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
