I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize